Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
