I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
