he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
