yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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