I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
