I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize