I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Every concussion has its silver lining
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
