Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Damn victory sex feels great
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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