IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
