Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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