i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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