i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
