I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
