Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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