one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
