it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
