My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
