Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
