I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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