aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
