i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
