part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
