Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
