hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
