My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
