I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
