you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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