U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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