Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
