Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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