Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
