i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
