Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
