so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
