I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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