white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
