Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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