I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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