I want to have your abortion
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
