My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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