My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
