yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize