I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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