Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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