don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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