why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
