im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
