So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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