I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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