you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
