They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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