he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
