Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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