i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
