Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
