Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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