Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
