How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
