Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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