new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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