she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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