I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
