You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
