I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we should paint friendship bongs
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
