just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
