New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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