I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
