Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
