he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
